The New Adventures as Mrs. Pearce

The challenges of this past week have forced me to learn.  On the first night of our honeymoon to the Grand Canyon we were hit by another driver in a new Mercedes.  After the months of stress from the wedding planning and moving the weekend before the wedding, I was looking forward to some peace and quiet.  The twelve hour drive I was tense and scared of the road.  I even slept to calm my fears.  I surrounded our car with the negativity that eventually brought my new purchase to it’s damage.  Learned lesson one:  calm yourself.  No amount of worrying can change what is already set to happen.  Learned lesson two:  let go.  I am discovering how much of a coward I really am.  I am scared of the unknown, terrified.  I used to be so confident in my decisions.  I am now constantly scared of the things that I know I cannot control.  I am always second guessing myself, fearing the worst.  It is time for a change.  I will not allow myself to live like this any more.  Mike and I have been through so much together, and we come out happy, closer than we were the previous second, the previous day.  This car accident, although an inconvenience, is not the end.  Whether the car is repairable or not makes no difference.  Life goes on.  In fact, I am learning that relying on my husband for support generates security for me.  I have for so long been a loner.  I have thought that depending on people was hard work, and I am loving the fact that he is my partner, my best friend and I am so lucky to have married him.  We had the most perfect wedding.  I am learning to gain immense satisfaction in the small things, to truly enjoy the happy moments.  I am done being a Negative Nancy.  I am finished being scared, like a beaten dog.  I am a smart, confident, happy, responsible wife.  Our trip brought us much closer together.  People say that life after the wedding goes downhill.  I disagree.  Michael and I have grown, in a week-span.  We love each other and cherish one another.  It is done.  I am growing.  Life brings us challenges, good and bad.  The ticket is to take those challenges with a smile, realize that as long as we are healthy and happy, life is good.  What a humongous blessing it was that no one was hurt in the car accident.  That car can be repaired or replaced but my husband cannot be replaced.  I am lucky to be alive and have such a beautiful home, wonderful friends, and a great career.  Relax, Mrs. Pearce.  It is going to be okay.  Just learn to calm down, take it one day at a time, enjoy the little things.  Stop being so high strung, you are going to kill yourself if you continue this way.  Find a hobby.  It is okay to be the quiet person with “nothing” going on.  In fact, I am looking forward to it.