Tomatoberry

Regal, you are faced with a speed bump. You are learning to talk slowly, move slowly, feel slowly. You are learning the ways of the ancients. The best advice you have heard today is, “learn not to speak unless it improves the silence.” Now, Regal, there are those who would oppose such a phrase. There are those who think that this is silly, but you know different. For you, child, are one who would always speak the heart, the mind. Forever and ever you could not calm your spirit. It is now that you are learning to develop such an essential skill. Silence is a virtue. For with silence comes thought, patience. Give yourself the time you deserve. Think before you talk, talk before you panic. Learn to move slowly. Not everything is a rush. Efficiency is different than speed. Learn to roll over these bumps slowly, life will vary the sizes. You must speak without talking. You must pace yourself without walking. A turtle does not envy the cheetah. Though a cheetah may devour it’s prey, a turtle is kind and truly appreciate the flavor and savory of the tomato.

This Terpentine Chaser's Got Kick

I am waking up. The subtle dust covering is not enough to keep me sleepy. Hitting rock bottom is no longer an option for me, the only way to go; the only way I choose is up. There are many of us, all different personalities. All careful people. But we are wrong; we cannot be a solid rock for those we love if we are not solid rocks for ourselves. It is hurtful to think about this pain. It is a lonely, desolate palace. The royalty therein is blind to the position. There are few, and they are far in-between, that trust to seek what they find. There are few that are not afraid, well, afraid maybe but courageous enough to pursue savior actions. It is a terrifying feeling, to know that you want more than anything to be a rock, to be solid, to be leaned on. There is no comfort in solace. Projecting one thing and hurting like another is getting us nowhere. This sky is grey, this earth is dead from the frigid winter brisk. These buildings spew smoke, crave live, desire energy. The city is mellow, there is no one, nothing, nowhere. A drive down an ancient road proves to be more than lonely, it is downright dangerous. To hide these emotions is suicide, to show them is growth, painful, bloody growth. There is no choice but up, but growth. I am left to deal with all of the anger, hurt, raw emotion. But not alone. Although this palace is barren, my prince has come and there is much united development to be had. Not to be void of all discretion, this is never wearing out. The apologies only go so far, there is a painful realization that it has gone wrong, and my heart bleeds purple. You are the light at the end of this journey, you are the sweet end. Now, to find my way out of the palace in which I have held myself captive for so many years. So many years yet to be discovered.

She Wishes She Were A Dancer

Today I am overwhelmed. I am being analyzed. My boss just called me and told me that the property numbers are being looked at since we have so many vacant units. I don't get it. I mean, I understand that we do have a lot of vacant units (35/175). I get it. Corporate set us a potential "goal" of renting twelve units per month. Well, as a matter of fact, we didn't have said "goal" last month. We had twelve move ins last month. As of December 3, 2009 (today) we have had three move ins and have taken applications for three apartments, we are ahead of where we were last month, and December is the toughest month on apartment communities as far as move ins go. I am advertising more than anyone in the company. And not that it matters to anyone else, but I am a fraction of every other manager's age. Where they are saying that most managers are close-minded to new advertising and suggestions, I am the one making those suggestions. There was even a gentleman in the office earlier this morning that made a comment about how much we "popped" up on the internet when he was doing research. I am working as hard as I can with a limited budget, I get advertising ideas shot down all of the time. Not enough.

The subtle inner-letdown.

This week's lesson is called patience... again. I am calm for the most part, and this is the sunray. It is but when someone begins raising their voice and saying nasty things that I feel the need to talk. I do not scream. I do not say improper words. I simply, and apatheticly, state the facts. Of course, when one does not like those stated facts, one turns off. Take for instance, this gentleman came into the office earlier this afternoon and was upset because his toilet had leaked, causing a small flood, at some point and instead of choosing to either contactthe office or call the emergency pager number, he took matters into his own hands and spent "$300.00" cleaning up the mess and fixing the problem. A work order had been put into effect a little over a month earlier and maintenance had gone to correct mulitple issues, among which was a "loose toilet". He entered the situation upset, he wouldn't listen to reason or policy, and left upset.

It is now that I feel I lost control in the situation. I was unable to difuse his anger.