Shouldn't I Have Something To Do?

A new thinking is born, as happens many times in a woman's life, that the idea of not committing to an idea, per se, is a beautiful gift. Julia Child wasn't married until she was in her 40's. She remained a virgin all of those years. At 6'2", a tree of a woman, blossomed into being Julia Child. Once married, she became a sexual beast. Reportedly making love to her husband almost everyday on his lunch break. A romantic. A dreamer. She was looking, in her 40's, to re-invent herself. She kept true to her nature, true to her heart, and began cooking. Her famous book, "The Art of French Cooking", was published when she was 50 years of age.

Then there is me. Twenty three and insane. I feel as though I am constantly trying to reinvent, or invent in the first place, who I am and what I want to do. Shouldn't I have something to do. Whether entertaining the thought of purchasing a house, upgrading our outdated computer system, going back to school, or just changing the color of my hair, I am a mess. I am a passionate person, and the feelings that I feel are deep and they do not hide well. They do not hide at all. When I am happy, the sun shines right through my eyes. The saddness, indeed, brings dark clouds all around. I wonder how, in my now-years, and later years I will choose to reinvent myself. If being twenty three and acting older will bring more youth to my older ages. If a college degree will ultimately make a differance in my life plan. I, of course, have no answers and remain clueless. Stay with me. There are going to be twists and obsticals along my path. I can't wait.